The Bagginses

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

Calling all sectors...calling all sectors...all points bulletin...all points bulletin...be on the look out for one man, mortal. Answers to the name Aragorn. Or Strider. Or Ellesar. Or the Elfstone. Or Evinyatar, the Renewer. Or Telcontar. Or Estel. Or Heir of Isildur. Or Hey You. Carries big sword, not afraid to use it. Believes he is King of Gondor. Wanted for escape from Gap County Detention Center. Suspected of unauthorized possession of hobbit kite and kite flying without proper license. Considered dangerous. Approach with caution.

The officers get working on this strait away, unfortunately, they seem to be having some difficulty in finding the correct 'Hey you!'...

Officer: Hmmm...a guy with a big sword... HEY! YOU!

Legolas: Yes?
Officer: You're under arrest!
Legolas: What for?!
Officer: Breaking out of jail!
Legolas: What--
Officer: *loads him into the car and drives off*

Hey, another guy with a big sword! HEY! YOU!

Gandalf: One moment! *hack and slashy* Yes?
Officer: You're under arrest for breaking out of prison and whatever you did for getting into prison.
Gandalf: That's preposterous!
Officer: That's what all the smart ones say...just get in, your rights are posted inside the van.
Gandalf: *more than slightly confused* ...okay...

What the-- another one?! Oh, he's a king, he's okay...

*clipclopclipclop*
For the love of Pete, are the freaks out in force today?! Oh, wait, another king...

*rideyridey*

Wait, two kings? This second one must be an imposter! *arrests Aragorn*

...hours later at the PD station, around the watering thingy...

Rookie: Wow, it's been a busy day.
Officer: I know! You wouldn't believe the freaks with swords out there!
Rookie: A bunch?
Officer: Go see for yourself, they're lined up now.

Nobody understands me...*sniff*...they all think I'm crazy!

I guess I'll have to break out of jail and go find my kite alone!

Meanwhile...

Hey! Aragorn!

Legsie, ol' buddie, ol' pal! I new you would come to help me find the kite and return it to Frodo!!

Uh, yeah...right, that's it, I'm here to get the kite back for Frodo! I mean, why else would I be here? It's not like I want that stupid kite....that stupid, beautiful kite....anyway, let's bust out of this joint!

Whoa! What in the name of Glorfindel...?!?

What is it? What do your elf eyes see?

Blue Monkeys?

monkey: Buford, go fetch the little girl, Buford, go fetch the kite of the hafling...What am I, a dog?! They don't pay me enough for this kind of abuse!

blue monkies? we are in more danger than i thought.......

they are spies of the enemy

we must hide!

Sam: What are we hiding from again?
Frodo: Blue Monkeys
Sam: Did you slip Aragorn some of your brownies??!