The Bagginses

The Return of the Kite Continued...

Part 1 is [here]

Mithril...beautiful, glittering mithril...

No! I must resist! I must be strong! I need that kite...

...those pretty ribbons will really accentuate my highlights...

Gandalf: Keep your well groomed mitts off that kite, elf.
Legolas: Ha! Threaten all you want. I'm not scared of you.

There is way too much interest in my kite now. Shoulda kept my mouth shut.

Legolas: Dude, I'm really jonesing for that kite.
Aragorn: Bud, chill. You're an elf. Get over it.

Sam: There's an eye opener, and no mistake.
Pippin: Och, tha' sure is pretty.
Merry: ...

Purple sparkly strings...Aye'm stoonned. Aye need it fer me own.

Back off, halfling with the weird accent. That kite is mine.

Uh, hello? Frodo Baggins here? Kite belongs to me? Remember? Hello?

Och, Aye'm nae afraid o'you, pretty boy! Bring it on!

Uh, guys? We're supposed to be helping out the Kitebearer, not stealing it from him. You know, council, you have my sword, where are we going, blah, blah, blah?

The kite is mine! I will not forsake it!

Frodo: Wait! The kite! What's Arwen doing?
Pippin: Och! Stop it, for the love o'haggis!
Merry: It's floating away!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Uh..............oh.......

Sauron:the kite floats free, now is my chance...send out the fell beasts!

Brandon on fell beast: I'll have a better chance of returning the kite to Frodo now that I've got wings!

Aragorn: Arwen My Love, do you know what it does to my sense of masculinity to play second fiddle to a kite??
Arwen: Yes My Kite...er...ah.....King, and I'm partially to blame I fear *sniffle*

Perhaps if I secretly let Frodo's kite go, it'll find its way back to him. That way he gets his kite, I get Arwen and I don't get in trouble.

LET GO OF MY KITE!!!!!!! MY PRECIOUSSSSSS!!!!!!
*whack*

I'm bleeding!! She drew blood!!! Sheesh, elvish women and their kites.......

Arwen: I didn't mean to Galadriel.....I don't know what came over me.....
Galadriel: These outbursts of yours are occurring more and more frequently......might I suggest anger management therapy?

Oh where, oh where had my lovely kite gone?

Oh where, oh where can he be?

With it’s tail so long, and spar-ar-kel-ely

Oh where, oh where can it be?

This has gone on long enough, it must stop!!!

Ach, oh pul-ease. Ya new Frodo’s alwees been a wee ovah sensitive!

Pippin: jays….I jus dunno…maybeh ‘e’s gone cracked
Merry: I know, a little thing like a kite and he falls apart!

Sigh…no one understands. I feel so..alone. Can anyone help me?

I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ..

I don’t know about this Mr. Frodo…..

Goblins and nazgul and orcs, oh my!

"Mr. Frodo?!?.... What th........."

"Yikes........"

"I wants my Kite".....

One just does not march into the throne room of the Great and Terrible Oz!! There is evil in that land that does not sleep....

Lions.......

Tigers!!

b..b...b...b...bears???!

OO May!!!

WHO DARES TO ENTER THE THRONE ROOM OF THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE OZ!!!!

Ding, dong, the witch is dead!

Which oh witch?

The wicked witch!

Hey, you back there! Bolgers! Boffins! Proudfeet! Join in!

Ding, dong, the wicked witch is dead!!!

~~

[ Insert: Frodo's Ode to the Kite (by Teeque):

Oh, to see my kite soar upon the breeze,
And not be like Charlie Brown's, stuck among the trees.
Alas, to see it's sparkles dance upon the sky,
And not in Arwen's immortal hands that will never die.
But, for the sweet sensation of seeing dip and dive,
And knowing I'll have it forever...while I'm alive.
If only this had not befallen me!
Why did Pippin get it stuck in a tree?!
Why did I lend it to Pippin at all?
He's the one who made that skull fall.
Such a fool I am, to lend out my kite!
I must search for it now, with all of my might!
Then I will see it dance and sparkle once again!
And it will be in MY hands, not in elve's, ent's, or men!]

~~

Uh...You killed the witch?? OK, now you have to help this hobbit find his kite! The great OZ has spoken!

What???! What a rip-off! I guess we have no choice guys, we'll have to help...what's his name? Fredo?

It's FRODO...get going. Look for my colleague Gandalf. He can help you find Frodo. Once you have returned the kite, come back here and I'll give you what you need.....

We're off to find the wizard, the wonderful wizard named Gandalf....

And the scarecrow ponders: Hey, this isn't as catchy as the Wonderful Wizard of Oz...
Lion: What was that?
Tinman: He has a point.
Dorothy: You thought, Scarecrow! You thought!
Scarecrow: By golly, I did! Let's find that hobbit now!

Gandalf (in reply to the catchy Wizard of Oz): WHO DARES IMPLY THE WIZARD OF OZ IS GREATER THAN I?!?

*dramatic chord*

... *whisper* Aren't big things supposed to happen after dramatic chords?
Voice: *whisper back* Not until the dramatic pause is over.
*whisper* Oh, okay. Thanks. *goes back to waiting*

*dramatic pause ends*

BANG!!!!

MEEP! [Was that big enough?]

Frodo: Oh crud.
Sam: That's an affirmative, dude.

"Let's do that again!"

Elrond: We are gathered today to mourne the loss of the one kite. The kite given to Frodo by Bilbo, made by the Dwarves, with the beautiful sparkly purple ribbons. We shall never again see it flying freely in the sky....it has met it's doom.

*sob* I can't believe my beautiful kite is really gone...

This is CNN. We interrupt this program to bring you a Special Report. The One Kite was found not long ago by someone claiming to be Ellesar, the Future King.

Whoever this guy is, he has returned the Kite, rumored to be the prized possession of Mr. Frodo Baggins of the Shire. The Kite will be retuned to Mr. Baggins after a preliminary investigation. Ellesar is being held for questioning at the Gap County Detention Center.

This is Sally Mcgregor reporting from The Flash News Update Section of National Enquirer (yes, I have conquered the very entity that defamed me) er ah anyway back to the latest breaking news on Frodo's Kite...this blip from newswire:
"Just penultimate to a deafening nuclear explosion, a lovely kite with a long tale of ribbons was expelled from the fiery chasm to flutter unharmed on the very gills of the mushroom cloud meant to destroy it. Experts are speculating that this is due to an the unidentified material that the kite consists of...especially light and very shimmery. Its original nature is not known. Apparently the kite was lifted on the wings of the blast where it floated gracefully to safety. It then sailed west on a westward wind until out of sight...more as the story unfolds."

"So...the Kite has been found....."

Saruman:Sauron, lord of the earth, saruman is at your service

Sauron: Fetch me the kite of the halfling...........