Home of the Lord of the Rings Caption Page (est. July 2002)
Sam - Are you sure this was the right place?
Frodo - Yes, I am, Sam. Shssh, what's that noise?
Frodo - Told you, Sam. *to Nazgul* O, Nazgul of Nee, we have brought you your shrubbery. May we go now?
It is a good shrubbery. I like the laurels particularly - and there's even a bit of Athelas. But there is one small problem.
*gulp* What is that...?
We are now... no longer the Nazgul Who Say Nee.
*random* Nee, nee, nee, neee!
Shhh... We are now the Nazgul Who Say Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoom-boing-mumble-mumble.
*thinks to himself* Oh great... changed his mind again...
*random Nee Nee Nee*
Therefore we must give you a test.
What is this test, O Nazgul of-- Nazgul Who 'Til Recently Said Nee?
Firstly, you must - find another shrubbery! *dramatic chord*
Not another shrubbery!
Nazgul of Nee: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get a two-level effect with a little path running down the middle.
*random* path! A path! Nee!
Nazgul of Nee: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with...
... a HERRING! *dramatic chord*
Frodo - We shall do no such thing! Cut down a tree with a herring? It can't be done. Besides, that's no herring. That's a tuna fish!
Everything can be done, you little pessimist... . But you don't want to pass the test, so I won't let you through the forest *walks menacingly towards Frodo*
Frodo - At the ready, Sam...
Sam - Mr. Frodo, look, it's Aragorn the Shrubber!
Aragorn - My shrubberies are not for the use of foul Nazgul of Nee creatures! They're a work of art!
*hit, spit, bumm, nee, bumm, ka-bang, nee* Nazgul of Nee perish or run away.
There we go. Much better.
~ Narrator: And so Mr. Frodo and Sam and Merry and Pippin and Aragorn the Shrubber set out on their search to find the enchanter of whom the old grey-behooded man had spoken. Beyond the forest they met Boromir and Legolas, and there was much rejoicing. ~
Struggling onward, and after long hours of walking through the thicket, Merry suddenly sees something.
Merry - Oh my...
**Narrator: No, no, no, not this one!!! *dramatic music stops* I am sorry, but the person responsible for putting up the picture is incompetent and has been sued. *dramatic music continues*
*thinks to self* What noise! pffrrrt
Arwanthrax - Welcome, o Fellowship, welcome to the woods of Anthrax.
Woods of Anthrax?
Yes... oh, it's not a very good name is it? Oh! but we are nice and we shall attend to your every, every need! You are tired, and you must rest awhile. Midget! Crepper!
Elves - Yes, oh Arwanthrax?
Arwanthrax - You must prepare beds for our guests... .
*thinking* Typical... it's always the others who will get the fun jobs...
The beds here are warm and soft - -- and very, very big...
Aragorn - uh... I choose to sleep on the ground, thank you.
Arwanthrax - pft... What is *your* name, handsome hobbit?
Frodo Baggins of the Shire... the Chaste... .
Oh, but you have suffered much. You are delirious! Let me show you to your bed.
I think we should be going on....
Ohh, but you would not be so ungallant as to refuse our hospitality.
*while stumbling backwards, Frodo falls hard on the floor*
You're hurt. You must see the doctors immediately! No, no, please, lie down.
No, no, really, I am fine... I am... *passes out*
*mumbles* stop it, no! There really... no need...
The grey hooded man!
Yes, I'm here. And you're lucky to be here, too. You fought off the aura of Arwanthrax very bravely, but -
*voice from off camera* - ahem, ahem...
*singing* - Frodo the Chaste fainted out....
*singing* - Frodo the Chaste fainted out, fainted out, fainted out. When Arwanthrax reared her lovely head, he bravely kicked his heels and fainted. Yes, Frodo the Chaste fell aground, and gallantly he chickened out, falling to our feet, he beat a brave retreat!
I didn't! Stop it! Not true!
Here we go again... *sigh*
Stop it, Legolas!
What's going on here in my castle!
Oh, Master Elrond, you know how the young men are... .
But I think Frodo here should now take some rest. He has to be strong again for the Quest. (and besides, LaWise has to find more pictures, doesn't she).
~ Narrator: NARRATOR: A year passed. Winter changed into Spring. Spring changed into Summer. Summer changed back into Winter. And Winter gave Spring and Summer a miss and went straight on into Autumn. ~
Continued on [on page 3]