Smiling Frodo

The Bagginses

Home of the Lord of the Rings Caption Page (est. July 2002)

Pet Shop

For people who don't know the (in)famous Parrot Sketch by Monty Python, this caption might not be as funny as it is for those who *do* know that sketch... done by Dunwethien, Elijah's Grey Panthers

*Enters pet shop*
'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

*No response*

'Ello, Miss?

What do you mean, "miss"?

I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to register a complaint!

We're closin' for lunch.

Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this hobbit that I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Oh yes, the, uh, the Shire Blue...What's, uh... What's wrong with it?

I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

No, no, 'e's uh,... he's resting.

Look, matey, I know a dead hobbit when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'!
Remarkable hobbit, the Shire Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful toe plumage!

The toe plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!

*Shouting at the hobbit* 'Ello, Mister Frodo Baggins! I've got a lovely fresh mushroom for you if you show!

*Hits the hobbit*
There, he moved!

No, he didn't, that was you hitting him!

I never!!

Yes, you did!

I never, never did anything...

*Yelling and hitting the hobbit repeatedly*
'ELLO FRODO!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

*Takes hobbit and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.*


Now, that's what I call a dead hobbit.

Continued on [page 2]