The Two Towers Pie

To the tune of "American Pie"
Words by unknown

A long, long time ago
I can still remember how that council back in Rivendell
Decided to destroy the ring
So Bilbo gave me his sword Sting
And we bid the elves a very fond farewell
But my thoughts started getting clearer
With each day that we got nearer
I might not live through this
But I know I must do this
I know when Gandalf fell I cried
Cause I couldn't keep the tears inside
I lost my mentor and my guide
From fate, I cannot hide

Refrain:
The ring, ring, such a tiny, wee thing
It's so strange that it should cause us all so much suffering
I think it's taking hold cause now I'm starting to sing
I'll destroy it in "Return of the King"
Destroy it in "Return of the King"

I've been sad since I was torn
From Gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn
I had to set out on my own
Ah, but they came up with a real great plan
To track the orcs across the land
Well, they went together so they're not all alone
Well, I hope they find my hobbit friends
Cause I'd like to see them both again
They traveled day and night
Just to save them from their plight
They went into the woods to find that pair
What a sight they found, they had to stop and stare
Cause they saw Gandalf standing there
I bet they were surprised
I started singin'

(Refrain)

Now for three days we've been going round
In circles, I think Sam almost frowned
But that won't help to get us there
When a creature came for the precious ring
And I said, "Remember your friend Sting?"
And his voice, it gave us such a scare
Oh, and Gollum said he knew the way
And so we went without delay
We went up to the border
Into the land of Mordor
But when we got there the gate was closed
Our hiding spot was near exposed
We'll never make it I supposed
And yet I have to try
We were singing'

(Refrain)

Back in Rohan, not everything was well
Because Theoden was under a spell
All he could do was sit and drool
So Gandalf came and rescued him
Then Wormtongue started looking mighty grim
Cause he saw that everyone knows he's a fool
Now Theoden would not go to war
Though evil lurked outside his door
The tension was increased
Oh, when Aragorn saw his niece
Cause the elf necklace he'd always worn
Made Eowyn feel so forlorn
See How she looks at Aragorn
Her love can't be disguised
We started singin'

(Refrain)

Oh, and there they were all in Helm's Deep
The Rohan people couldn't sleep
With Saruman outside the gate
So come on, get
your weapons, everyone
This probably won't be much fun
Cause his army seems unusually irate
Oh, the enemy did not retreat
But the king would not admit defeat
They battled through the night
But could they win this fight?
Well, the enemy blew up the wall
But there they met their downfall
Because Gandalf came to join the brawl
The end was now in sight
We were singin'

(Refrain)

The Ents demolished Isengard
By flooding Saruman's backyard
Pippin and Merry told them to
I want to see my friends someday
But from my quest I must not stray
cause I'm finally close to what I have to do
And someday they might tell our tale
Supposing that we do not fail
But Gollum might destroy us
It's starting to annoy us
Cause in his head he did decide
That he might commit homicide
But I've got Samwise by my side
And we'll destroy the ring
And we were singing'

(Refrain)

We were singin'
The ring, ring, such a tiny, wee thing
It's so strange that it should cause us all so much suffering
I think it's taking hold cause now I'm starting to sing
I'll destroy it in "Return of the King"