Home of the Lord of the Rings Caption Page (est. July 2002)
He found a travel brochure for the planet of the apes. Considering that he is sometimes called a monkey, he thought that he'd fit in there. But that might create too much attention. So he decided to hide elsewhere.
Later he was caught hiding in a hole in the ground. All he wanted to do is dig a hole in the ground and hide for a few days.....
Sh*t! They found me!
Where can I hide now?
A smart suit and a one buzz later, ykw thought he was totally unrecognisable...
... but later, disaster struck! "No honestly, why would you want to interview me? I'm just an Orc extra...
So our little friend decided to make sure everyone knew who he wasn't... "See this Frodo hobbit guy? certainly NOT me... I don't know who the hell that guy is... if fact, why am I here? Has this place got security?!"
DM: Alright Elijah mate!
EW: Er... Who? *ahem*
~*1 hour later...*~ -
"Would you recognise me? Ha! It's amazing what prosthetics can do..."
However, unbeknownst to him, the prosthetics department had used the wrong substances and the disguise melted away with the warmth of the Cali sun.... which left him where he started...
Where to hide now?
He decided to go the place he loved... where he felt safe and secure... not seen... New Zealand!
And where better than on some mountain top...?
However, he miscalculated the amount of snow....
Hmmm... where do I go from here?
This is Mr. E.J. Wood of Santa Monica, California. He can not be seen.
Now I am going to ask him to stand up. Mr. Wood, will you stand up, please?
As you can now see, he is being attacked by rabid fan girls. This demonstrates the value of not being seen
How about a trip to Egypt?
Authorities today questioned close friends and confidants regarding the disappearance of YKW:
No further information could be gleamed from the visibly upset actors. The investigation remains at a standstill.
He took some flying lessons, bought a used (army surplus) plane and flew over the Bermuda Triangle, and hasn't been seen since. PR doesn't want to cause a panic, so it's all hush-hush at the moment.
In order to keep him from talking to the press and revealing ROTK secrets, New Line had him blasted into outer space.
He will remain in orbit around the earth (with his laptop and cd's) until late May, at which time he will be returned to earth and ushered to New Zealand for ROTK pick ups.
Elijah's involved with making a Queens of the Stone Age music video.
Aha..found him! He's been hiding out incognito at Sesame Street!
Is that "The Red Book" they're reading?
*Enter Merry and Pippin*
GP'ers: We have called you here for a special purpose. We call on you to use your insider influence and knowledge to locate YKW and to bring back to us a picture. Just one picture. Where has he been? What has he been doing? Riding a camel? Filming a video? Piloting a plane? Learning how not to be seen? Spending time with Bert and Ernie? We need to know. And, as your compensation, we will give you brownies. GP brownies. With special ingredients. ( Brownies are the traditional welcome gifts and the general type of food that is eaten on GP. About the Special Ingredient... well...er... ).
Merry: Right, Pip. Let's go! This is for the brownies!
***Many days later***
Pippin: It's no use, Merry. We cannot find him. He is gone. Invisible. Vanished. Like a puff of smoke. We must return and tell them.
Merry: You don't understand, Pippin. Then there will be no brownies.
Pippin: *No brownies?...!!*
**They travel back to the GP'ers**
Merry:..so we traveled far and wide, over hill and through valley, from Mirkwood to Gondor, and could find no sign of him. We have failed you. But, for our effort and good faith, we were hoping for a small token. Perhaps, one brownie each?
GP'ers: We are sorry, but no YKW, no brownies. That was the agreement.
Pippin: No brownies, Merry!
Merry: No brownies!!!!!
Merry: We braved orcs, goblins, trolls, wolves, fangirls...we continued when we had no more Spam...we listened to bad ent poetry night after night! What do you mean, no brownies?!!!!
Merry: We MUST have the brownies!!!!!!!!!!!!
The legendary brownies saw the two through many adventures in Fangorn Forest and Isengard.
Later, the brownies began to wear off:
Pippin: Merry, those brownies...dude! I mean, "The closer we are to danger, the further we are from harm"?! What in the Sam Hill? Uh oh-technicolor birdies again. Merry? Merry?
Apparently, Merry is much more susceptible to the secret ingredient.
AAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!! I'm in hiding! What the crud! How did you find me?
Oooohhhhhh! Fiiiiirrrrrreeee! Scarrrrrryyyyy! Will that keep you away? No, don't tell me you would brave the depths of hell for me! Me and my darned irresistability!
Maybe I can drive you out a la Noriega with my irritating rock music? What? You like Prince? Dagnabbit!
What to do? What to do?
I've got it!
Look! A dancing elf!
I'm too sexy for my...what? Lij?
Run! Run like you never have before!
(voiceover) Maybe now I will go somewhere they cannot find me...
*Somewhere in the amazon-various animal and insect noises*
They'll never find me here!
Wait! Where did he go? We lost him!
He's been appearing at the MGM Grande in Las Vegas for the past 2 weeks....