The Bagginses

Home of the Lord of the Rings Caption Page (est. July 2002)

Contest # 33

Captions that have been submitted:

Faramir: Why did Bilbo have to make them?! Bottle Reads: Here lies GP Brownie Remains.br> (hinting to the Crouching Hobbit Hidden Brownie Caption Story)	by Sukiyra
David: Dudes ... dudes!! The bottle, it is speaking to me!!! Everyone else: Uhhhh ... Dave, are you drunk? David: What? David: That scum!! I told him I wanted the bottle with the pretty flowers on it! David has a lengthy argument with "the man who lives in the bottle."	by Tiffany
As the climax of this movie starts to rise, swelling music comes into the background....but we can only ask one thing: Where will YOU be when your laxitive starts working...	by Shieldmaiden
Oh! I sign from God! If only I could figure out what it means. sigh Person in background:He found my bottle! WOW, it's been lost for 4 years! process to run to guy	by Scottish Elf
but why is the rum gone?	by Mrs Frodo Baggins
Faramir: 75% alcohol! And I was wondering why Boromir kept doing the dance routine to "Baby One More Time"...	by AllaBella
I can't believe it...I'm in a caption contest!	by gimli_is_da_bomb_diggity
Ummm... What is this? Where did it come from?	by Kail
Thats what i get for testing an unautorized potion. I end up in a weird town with a rag over my head. This never would've happened if Boromir was alive...	by elwing
Faramir: Look it's a liquid that would cure this pointy head thing that just started happening yesterday.	by lily
(A town Carl and Van Helsing are in is being attacked by vampires) Carl: Hey, I think we can use this against them! (reads lable) "Vatican Springs Holy Water, Bottled in Vatican City. Works well against vampires, werewolves, witches, demons, ghosts, ghouls, goblins, orcs, trolls, dementors, ringwraiths, zombies, Sith lords, Cthuthul 'Gods', chimeras, hydras, gorgans, blast-ended screwts, crazed mutants, parents-in-law, rabid ents, nasty fat hobbits--" Van Helsing, townspeople, and vampires: GET ON WITH IT!!	by Kitsune-chan
Faramir reading: "First, thou shalt take out thy holy pin, then thou shalt count to three, no more, no less...three shall be the number of the counting, and the number of the counting shall be three..."	by Trogdude
It's the preccciioooouuuussss.	by indymaster
Bottle of "holy water": 23 dollars Friar's robes: 75 dollars Goofy wig: 117 dollars Being in a nice, air conditioned studio instead of dusty, sandy, bloody blazing-hot-as-hell Malta like your "brother" and "elf-boy": Priceless	by Kitsune-chan
i'll turn it into a cross...and i'll put that cross in a bottle...and i'll put that bottle into a box..and i'll put that box in a bigger box, mail it to myself, and when it arrives..i'll SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!	by MichE.L
WARNING: handling this item may result in the change of fantasy world... Faramir: looks around Oh darn!	by dudette
DO NOT DRINK" Oh crap i knew i shouldnt have drinken this	by bird
Maybe if I hide behind the bottle, they won't see me...	by Uniswift87
Faramir: When Aragorn drinks this poison I will have Eowyn's herat. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA	by _liz_elf_girl
I shall call you squishy, and you shall be mine.	by Sarah
David Wenham, deeply confused about which fantasy franchcise he's starring in now, he drinks all of his butterbeer and uses the bottle to try and escape from Azkaban.	by lady laurelin
Ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety nine bottles of beer..."	by Gollum Reincarnate
Holy Water MY EYE!! Mirror, Mirror, on the... beer... bottle... Oh, never mind. ** Ingredients: water, high fructose corn syrup, ethyl hydroxide, the One Brownie Ingredient...	by Anne Winters
POTIONS-- P-roper O-rdinance T-raining to I-nstant O-atmeal N-onsence by professor S-nape	by Tahiri Greenleaf
Warning: Do not drink excessively...oh well! Faramir discovers a primative Kaleidoscope.	by Stefanie
My precious!!!	by Rowan
It comes in pints?	by Lindsay
Faramir: Oh ale maker which art in Rohan, hallowed be thy name.Your still be blessed, your work be done and may my bottle never run out. Lady in back: crazy customer.	by LIZZY
(David takes a gulp) Oops I didn't see this label here. What does it say? (he reads off the label) Do not consume Poison!	by hobbitongal
reads label on bottle "Super-Duper Warming and Relaxing Drink: Perfect For The Hooded and Confused-looking" Mmmm....this could be useful...	by Goldilocks
Let's see. So I just pour this in Dad's soup and then he'll like me!	by Prisca
look! a meesage in a bottle... how classic! yet, its not a message... its a cross... ORIGINAL!!	by alisha
well Dad like Boromir's ship in a bottle maybe he'll like this... thinks: what is in there? this bottle is so dirty i can't see a thing!	by Lady of Lorien
How am I supposed to get this out of here?!"	by Lil' Dude
...And when I drink this I will be an elf, beautiful beyond anyone's wildest dreams....	by whatever
darn...i am afraid that no matter how much i look at my reflection...i will...never...be as pretty...as legolas...	by zoey
"Only one more week Mr. Sparky... then you can fly free!"	by Jessica
Sad at loosing his chance to get the ring, Faramir took solace in religion.	by Hobbit Maiden
Daisy: "My precioussssss" appearantly Daisy forgot that LoTR was done filming... and that he wasn't the one voicing Gollum anyway	by Jill
Farimir was confused when given a bottle marked "used for potion homework" from Snape's potions class.	by Tahiri Greenleaf
Faramir: phew! I finally did it! I fought three guards and a vicious old lady to finally get my hands on this!pulls the bottle out from a bag Wait a minute....this isnt Moutain Dew!	by Shieldmaiden
How do they get the ship in the bottle?	by Sarah
If I stare at the bottle for long enough, the genie will come out... and I'll have three wishes... and I shall wish for an outfit as cool as Van Helsing's... and a new haircut... and i shall be called Faramir again as that sounds so much cooler than Carl.	by Naurwen
"I shall call him squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my squishy" gets smacked in head "Ow! bad squishy! Bad squishy!"	by Steph Greenleaf
David: ...and the next person who calls me "Daisy" or "Audrey" will wind up trapped in a bottle of Holy Water, just like this joker here! shakes bottle Isn't that right, Mr. Jackman?! Hugh: Help meeee, help meeeeeeeee!	by Kitsune-chan
Faramir: Tee Hee...Boromir will never notice I spiked his drink with Absinthe...now lets see how the speech goes...Daddy WILL like me best... David payed a lot of money to have evian flown to the set... David had to disguise4 all his drinks to stop the "bloody aussie" drinking it... ( am i right in thinking he's from new zealand...?)	by Holz
Bottle, bottle on my hand! Who is the fairest captain of all?	by Mrs Obvious
It's a gift! reads Here resides Boromir of Gondor. thinks I knew that the books were lying about his funeral!!	by Queenie
Still, after much explanation, Daisy still couldn't understand just HOW they got the ship in the bottle.	by Kahli
Daivid: the one bottle of Mordor is in our possesion, it is a gift. a gift to the foes of Mordor. Why not use the Ring? Use it against him! We could- director: -dude, this is VAN HELSING. thinkswhy did i sign a Ring junkie onto my film? David: thinks i knew possesed looks would come in handy one day. David: thinks ooo. if I look at the bottle for ages, i see two bottles!	by The It
It says: One potion to rule them all One potion to find them One potion to bring them all And in the darkness bind them!	by Emilana
What is this? Legolas said it would make me an ELF but I don't belive him!!!But I don't know if he's telling the truth! Maybe I should just drink it does so glug glug glug glug Burp Hey I am an ELF cool! Wait a minuit!	by Legolas' Elf Girl
Where's the darn instructions to this thing?	by insomniac ranger
Holy Water, 10 dollars....Clothing for cold weather, 30 dollars....Sword for fighting vampires, 60 dollars....remembering that u left your wallet somewhere in New Zealand....priceless. there are some things money cant buy, for everything else, theres mastercard...	by Shieldmaiden
bottle! the most important find of this age! i'll be rich!	by pippin the great
Faramir: Inside this bottle is the recipe for LEEEEEEEEEEMBAS! Stupid hobbits, selling it for only the one ring... Merry & Pippin: Stupid human, buying an empty bottle...	by Tomi
Faramir took it literally when his bottle of archaic orange juice said "Concentrate"	by Hobbit eyes
Debt affects people in different ways. It makes Faramir sit on the steps of Edoras and yell at his bottle to refill.	by kaisa
Faramir: "Liquid Lembas...take one teaspoon every 12 hours...keep out of reach of Hobbits..."	by Robin
David never could remember that hobbit drinking song	by Charls
David: Hehe, so that's were Legolas' last bottle of Miruvor went. Somebody must have slipped it in my pack when he... I mean I wasn't looking. Hehe. Faramir decided that the best place to hide the One Ingredient would be in a different movie, thus making it inaccesible to his "friends" from LOTR. David: It's bloody empty, thanks a lot Jack shakes fist at sky	by Marille
David: high squeaky voice What's here? a bottle, closed in my true love's hand? Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end: O churl! drunk all, and left no friendly drop To help me after?... Casting Director: NEXT!!!!!!!	by Lyra
I'm still trying to figure out how they got it in the bottle?!	by Queen Arwen
Carl just noticed after drinking the Holy Water that side effects were dizzyness, fatigue, and even death.	by Margaret
If I look carefully enough, I can see that guy in the background's reflection. What is he doing? Shhhhhh........ I'm having a staring contest with the bottle.	by Lyra
Darn, I have something stuck between my teeth again! Just a second, let me get it out.	by phonebook
Oh man, I wanted a goldfish!	by LotR Freak
Daisy stared intently at the bottle trying to see things that were, things that are, and things that have not yet come to pass.	by SupaLorLor
After not being able to get the Ring of evil Elijah and failing to pinch the maggoty bread out of the Orcs foodstock, David found something else to put his attention on, Sauron's Glass bottle of Wickedness.	by Fiona LotR Lover
Reads Rub for magic genie...	by Ben
BUT WHY IS THE RUM GONE!	by Meghan
The Journal of Mr. Wenham- 23 May: I was casted to play Random Peasant #7 in the remake of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. While looking through the props in the tent I was in, I stumbled across what would play the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. I was completely blown away in disgust for a) it was clearly an empty rum bottle, and b) on the back of the bottle, in big letters, was "Made in Taiwan."	by Pendragon
Oh, it's so shiny! I want to touch it!	by suzanne
Faramir: Oh look! A message in a bottle! reads 'To whoever finds this note: I have been imprisoned by my father, who wishes me to marry against my will. Please, please, please come and rescue me. I am in the Tall Tower of Swamp Castle.' stands up At last! A call! A cry of distress! This could be the sign that leads us to the Holy Grail...um, I mean, destruction of the ring! Yea, that's right, this could be the sign that leads us to the destruction of the ring! Brave, brave Boromir, you shall not have died in vain!	by Monty_Balrog
Faramir stares in awe at the GP's nevest invention- drinkable brownies.	by the One Brownie to Rule them All
After being cast on the island Faramir finally got a message in a bottle. To his dismay, it was just religious spam.	by Hobbit Maiden of Doom
Come on, guys! Just take a little. It won't make you drunk or anything!	by Legolas
David: Oh my god! I didn't mean to shrink you! Faerie: Yeah well, let's try un-shrinking me! David: I forgot how to un-shrink. Faerie: Ergh...	by Faerie in Combat Boots
Yo, Ven Helsing! I found some booze.... Honey, I shrunk Jesus the Christ	by Pippin's Pervert
Little known to the poor citezens of Minas-Tirith, I farted in this bottle and when I open it the city will be filled with a green fog! Just look at my pet spiders! They are so totally awesome. I wonder why Frodo is afraid of them, though.	by Prisca
Why did daddy neglect me! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Is that what I "think" it is?	by SomeGuy
"I would like to thank the academy for this award for "Best Peasent Act While Actully Being Roalty". My my mom and dad also deserve credit...	by Nerwende
Faramir: What do you mean, 'wrong movie'?! I've got my ranger clothes, my sword in a bottle, what else is there that I need to be in this movie?!	by Shay
Maybe if i stare at it long enough it will magically refill itself with the frothy goodness!	by Raelyn
Farmair: Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I go To heal my heart and drown my woe. Rain my fall and wind may blow, And mamy miles be still to go BUt under a tall tree I wil lie, Ans let the clouds go sailing by Pippin: Hey thats the hobbits drinking song!	by Annie
Daisy didn't know how to tell Elijah that he had failed as a babysitter and accidently let Elijah's pet flea die from lack of nutrition.	by Mrs Aragorn
Fararmir: Hmmmm, Holy water work great against vampires....Let's find out if it works against orcs. ..........Hmmmm, nope just makes them more angry. Faramir: If Holy water doesn't take care of Aragorns hair...then nothing will. Dun dun duuunnnnn.	by Alicia J.F.
Faramir:(looking at artistic bottle) "Well, I guess the milkman had a little too much time on his hands.."	by MiniMoose
This doesn't look like the white tree of Gondor...Where am I? Reading for the part of Daisy in Daisy in Wonderland: If the cookie made me small, this drink should make me big again!	by Elanor
Faramir's first job as pickpocket of Gondor: "Gandalf's flask of Miruvor. He won't mind it too much if I just take a little sip."	by Ainamenelwen
Faramir regretted agreeing to help fundraise for the hobbits. Nobody even knew who he was.	by Kaisa
I'm a geenie in a bottle doo dah da!!	by Roo
David: 'Here I am little people...bow to me! mwahhahahahah' [eery silence] 'Hey why are you all looking at me like that!?'	by Roo
Huh? what's up with the cross? its supposed to say Farimir is hot. Voice in Farimir's head: 5, 5 minutes, 5 minutes and you'll be drunk!	by Viggo2000
"Nothing changes. Even as a child he was easily amused." --Denethor "You want me to do what in the bottle?" -- Faramir's first drug test.	by Sarah
Voice behind Farimir: Dude Farimir whats yous got? Farimir: Dude shut yo mouth! it ain't whats yous got! It's What have you gots!! Voice behind Farimir: DUUUUUUDE! I didn't mean nos harm! Farimir: sigh!	by Legolas' Elf Girl
Faramir: ~reading~ THE HOLY HAND GRENADE Thou shalt remove the top from thee HOLY HAND GRENADE. Then thou shalt count to three. Thou shalt not count to one, nor to two but to three and three only. And thou shalt not count to four but to three only.	by EllaG
"Wow, this milk's sure gone bad!"	by ClassicalGollum
bottle:warning do not drink will cause extensive hair growth	by petunia buffer
Arrrgghh! Why did I drink so much last night? Holy water, I can't see the holes!	by Bex
In honor of Monty Python and The Holy Grail: "Look the Holy Hand Grenade!"	by Faerie in Combat Boots
Hmmmzz... What does it say my precious?... made in Mordor Ahhh, Morrrrdorrrr.... What's a "Mordor"?	by Orelinde
If it were not for my blasted addiction to you, I would have gotten a part in the movie!	by psychosmeagol's dad
Bibbidi-Bobbidi , bottle of mine... Bibbidi-Bobbidi, bottle so fine... Bibbidi-Bobbidi, come, whisky or wine! Bibbidi-Bobbidi, Bibbidi-Bobbidi, Bibbidi-Bobbidi Boo!!	by Dernhelm
"I wonder how they get those huge boats in those little glass bottles..."	by Aduaduialwen
Why is there a cross in my bottle?	by hobbitongal
David (whispering to his imaginary friend): You drink all my Butterbeer alone again and I'll delete you!	by Daily
David: chanking like monks from monty python "Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem" smack bottle on forehead* "ah, crap! that the the GP's secret brownie ingrediant in it!... Oh well... contintes to smack head with remnants of bottle until bottle is all gone...	by Resident Crazed One
A chance for Faramir, Captain of Gondor to show his quality!...wait...wrong movie...oops	by Christiana
Ack! Why's the rum gone?!?	by arwentheelf02
Faramir wonders why Legolas has given him a shampoo/conditioner.	by Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon Police
Oh.My.Holy.Sheeps. How-how...pretty.	by Erin
David: Let's see....ahh here it is one bottle of water contains 5% real water.	by Tari
Faramiar- Maybe if I concentrate really hard the geni will come out of the bottle.	by Kayla
Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and bottle bubble.	by _liz_elf_girl
"'Drink Coke, play again'? what the..?"	by Princess Elfie
Dave tries using his jedi mind tricks to open the bottle: "open open open!" He had heard of prizes at the bottom of cereal boxes, but this was ridiculous!	by Laifanawen
After reading the following and realizing that he had been drunk for the entirety of the TTT shoot, Faramir takes a sobriety oath for life: WARNING. This is ALCOHOL. Not to be used in large quantities. Side effects may include: changing of hair color, uncharacteristic desire to seize shiny hollow objects, sudden urge to transport innocent hobbits to Osgiliath, and other things of un-Tolkienish nature.	by Aniale
reads bottle that he Legsie loaned him a while back Lather, rinse, repeat...	by Jill
A chance for Carl, friar of Rome, to show his quality.	by Alenxa
David: "Oooo. I just LOVE these new Dr. Pepper bottles!"	by Miriya
"I know you're in there ghost, just come out and let me make my wishes!"	by Chloe
After stepping through the looking glass, eating the "Eat Me" cake and drinking the "Drink Me" beverage, Alice was more than a little surprised to catch her reflection in the filthy bottle. "Ah-hah! 'Tis a bottle!" "Move a little to the left, George, you look like the Hindenberg when you stand like that."	by haleycopter
He he... With this potion �owyn will forget Aragorn and fall in love for ME! I guess why daddy is storing so many bottles of inflamable oil...	by Mystique
Faramir: Aren't you supposed to put water in a bottle?	by Kaisa
Man by the door: Poor man. The wife left him, has no money, no home. His only compannion: that bottle he calls his "Precious".	by Tallulah
Ah, holy water! This should get rid of those pesky demon nits! The bible now comes in this handy, dandy bottle!	by Aki
David: I can't believe it! I've finally got it - the famous splinter pulled from Dominic Monaghan's foot while filming the scene at Buckleberry Ferry! "And takest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade and thou shalt counteth to one. Then thou shalt counteth to two..."	by Starling
Daisy: NO! DO NOT FOLLOW THE GOURD! FOLLOW THE BOTTLE!	by Spazz
Faramir is surprised that he got away from stealing the holy water from Proffesor Snape at Hogwarts.	by Monica
Costume: $235 Backdrop: $500 Bottle: $20 Watching David tell himself he will see pretty pink flamingos if he drinks: Priceless	by Star
Bottle Reads: "Missing: Middle-aged man with short, brown hair. Wears ragged hooded clothing & claims to be a friar, NOT a monk..." Carl: "Wow...that man sounds familiar...I just can't put my finger on his name...hmmm..."	by Elvenarcher007
our doom has come it's it's ... [dramatic cord] a bottle!	by pippin the great
David: What the Hobbits lied! This isn't the Phail of Galadriel!	by Taulaes
Wow...the crystal growing kit is really working!	by arwentheelf02
After many times at failing, Faramir finally got what he had been searching for: Sedatives to keep Sam quiet about his cooking.	by Elralinde
Faramir: Blasted father! "Not-Boromir, go out and buy some milk! And make sure it's the Holy brand!" The closest grocery store is at the ends of the Earth and it's the heaviest snow so far this winter, so he sends ME out! Ooh, why I oughta >mutter mutter< ... Vampires: SCREE!!! Faramir: Oh bloody hell.	by Isilehtele
Do you know how to get to Minas Tirth from Transylvanina? Thanks.	by Jordan
David: Um...Guys! Why is there a little ant-graveyard in my winebottle?	by Marie
Looks like daisy caught the captian obvious disease!: David: Hey.. look it's a bottle!gasp! and it's got a cross on it!! it's so purdy!!	by lilboromirandfaramirfan!!
Faramir: Um...Aragorn? You remember I told you that I could use magic to make you into a big orc so you could easily slip into Mordor? Aragorn: Yes...? Faramir: Well, there's a small chance you became something else..	by Norwegian Elf
Scenic background - �20 Dirty old cloak - �1 Antique Bottle - �5 Gotic Cross - �10 someone to get the cross on the bottle - �2 watching him try to figure out what it is - priceless	by Roo
it IS the holy grail! i have succeeded in this task because it was appointed to me! and if i don't find a way....then no one will.....my precioussssss	by Lozi
I don't get it, how does the cross get into the bottle... by what craft is this accomplished?	by Beccis
Rohan Rum, The finest brew in all of Rohan WARNINGS: Over consumption may lead to belief that your father loves your brother better and near death on a fire	by Lindsay Lohan
Talk to me my love, talk to me.........	by Emily
Finally I have found the secret potion of Legolas' that will make me as sexy as him! Warning for elves use only DARN!!!!!!!!	by Orlando's Biggest Fan
David: Bottle, Bottle, in my hand, tell me, what do i see? The bottle: OMG! you see a cross!	by Julie
F: Oooohhhh... It's... it's... a bottle! F: Hahahaha!!! I finally caught a hobbit! F: No father! I won't open the bottle and let you out! I'm tired of being the worst to your eyes! I won't listen to you anymore! What? That I've become Gandalf's aprentice? Of course I have!! Now don't hit the bottle or it will brake!	by Firithfalaswen
Carl: Dodgy looking bottle from Van Helsing...most probably poison....if i drink it I may die a slow and painful death...On the other hand it could be a yummy bottle of soda...drink it or bin it? No contest there! Soda all the way!	by Chessy
Faramir:Wonder what this means? Maybe its a sign from God! Or maybe it is somthing that should be taken to Mt. Doom immediatly! Or maybe its CHOCOLATE! takes bite Faramir: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm CHOCOLATE!	by LotRFreak223
David-"First Orcs, goblins and a ring. Now, Vampires, warewolfs and a potion. I really need to get a new agent!"	by Daronda
Ooh, look!!! The Phial of Earendil!! Now I can finally complete my Frodo Halloween costume...	by TolkienPurist
Faramir: So this is wht happened to that lost pilgrim community.	by Eryka
Hey ho, to the bottle I go...	by MerryMary
I shook it! How long do I have to wait for the little pieces of snow to fall?! David: What this- reads Made in Japan. Faramir: whispers to the bottle And your all I have Goergie! Father and mother say how silly it is to make friends out of inanament objects at my age, but you know, I don't care! Denethor: For Heaven Sake's Faramir! Give up that bottle! Faramir: Yes father!	by Firniswin
upon realizing he brought lotion instead of shampoo David promptly through a fit. "If I have to deal with looking at Aragorn's greasy hair for 1 more day I'm going to chop it all off!"	by Raelyn
How were the components able to caption this?	by Jordan
ahhhh.......thats good....thud i cant believe it...elrond drank all my special whisky. I guess that explains why he's been sleeping for the past three days.	by Beleggoniel
Yes! Yes! I have finally managed to fit the tiny paper boat inside the bottle! Noooooo! My future is foggy! And whats this?!? A cross?!? Backround music Come feed the little birds! Show them you care! And you`ll be glad if you do! Thier young ones are hungry thier nests are so bare! All it takes is tuppence from you! Crazy bird lady!!!!!! I just wasted my tuppence on a bottle with a cross inside!!!!!!!	by Baby hobbit
I've got you NOW Tinker Bell!	by Heather
Faramir reads bottle: "WARNING:BEWARE OF THE APPEARANCE OF BOTTLE,IT CAN MAKE YOU STARE AT IT FOREVER..".. Faramir didn't appear to be following directions	by Georgia
Farimir: Well, according to that Hermione lass I just have to drink this Poly-something Potion, and I'll turn into Legolas for an hour or so and then all the ladies will love ME!	by Melvasaiel
Bottle, Bottle in my hand who is the fairest in the land?	by Lady of the Woodland Realm
Not really reading the label correctly he spent all day staring at the bottle. Label-Fresh from the Vatician Groves, Holy Water Concentrate.	by coulduseprozac
Faramir: I've been: Abused as a child, Ignored comepletely by my father, Been Portrayed as Incompetent, Had to watch my bro ride off to his DOOM, Was given some of the most BORING lines in the book (except for Leggy of coarse)- Legolas: HEY! It's not my fault my creator made love being so dramatic...AND DON'T CALL ME LEGGY! Faramir:-whatever Leggy. Anyway- Legolas: Humph! goes off to have a princely sulk in a corner Faramir:-As I was saying... I've been: Forced to retreat home in tired defeat from battle and then sent back AGAIN, Gotten shot by a poisoned arrow, Cured by a cool kingy dude, Got a girl, Lost the girl, AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS WHISKEY BOTTLE... AND IT'S EMPTY!!!!!!	by Cassandra
We wants it.... we needs it... my preciousssss....	by Liz
It has what in it?	by Sonia
but why's the rum gone?!?!	by not
time for... burp.... faramir, man of... of... of... gondor, yeah that's it! to burp show his slur QUALITY!!! i'll show that Aragorn who's king and who's steward.... burp	by tinuviel gil-galad
Inscription on bottle: CAUTION: do not turn upside down Dave: whoops.......	by hurrah! a suitcase!
gasp The Holy Grail of Antioch...gasp warped into a bottle!	by Isilwen
so, your saying that if i open this bottle, a fairy named 'tinkerbell' will fly out, sprinkle me with pixie dust, and i'll fly away to 'never-never land'? no way! and bormir starts his solo in 'LOTR: The Musical', forgeting that --in fact-- he is singing to a brandy bottle.	by fl0
Farimir: (reading) If the PERSON who's reading this If they open the bottle a magical geinie will not come out in ten minutes!! Farimir: Cool a magical genie WILL come out if I open the bottle and wait ten minutes!! (ten minutes later) Farimir yelling at the bottle). Why won't you come out?!? (reads bottle again) DARN IT! DARN IT! DARN IT!	by Legolas' Elf Girl
"Hey Hugh - its that time of the month, i gotta test your pee again dude."	by Groovygollum
...The holy alcohol of God...	by Heidi
Shoot! Aragorn gave me a fast acting laxative instead of my water! Good thing I didn't drink it. opens bottle Shit! tear I did! Gurgle noises. Sanctuary! Sanctuary!	by Alicia Weatherbee
Oh my Lord! Is that Jimmy?	by Jordan
Woohoo! I finally found a genie! I'm gonna wish for better clothes...	by Michael
Faramir: smiles, waves This is my new friend Phil. points to bottle He is the King. What's that Phil? stops and pauses, ear to bottle Faramir: He says that all must bow to him. Yes...BOW!!!!!!! laughs insanely YES! BOW TO PHIL! MY PRECIOUSSSSSSSS....	by Cassandra
My brother's dead and my father hates me. But I'm glad you're still my special friend, Mr. Bottle! Entdraught! Huzzah! I'll be the tallest guy in Minas Tirith! So you're telling me that if I drink this potion, my hair will go back to normal?	by Doms Brown Bobcat
All right, who murdered my mac?	by PippinsPervert
Lets see, it says M-I-L-K... THATS IT!!! it's RUM! There is no jumping man in this bottle! WHY DO THEY TOY WITH MY MIND!?!?!?!?	by Kakie
after aquiring frodo's old cloke and gandalf's secret bottle of rum, faramir was ready to take on anyone who even began to call him "Daisy"	by laurefin
Belatedly, David remembered to read the expiration date. Self-hypnotism was not Daisy's strong point. "THIS is 'the sword in the stone'?!?..."	by anardun
Person offstage: I GOT CHOCOLATE!! another person: I GOT A POPCORN BALL! Faramir: i got a bottle...	by Kirsten of the Panta-Loons
So they say this will cure me of leprosy"	by Caitrin