The Bagginses
Home of the Lord of the Rings Caption Page (est. July 2002)
One day, lad...
by Nyasa, Elijah's Grey Panthers
The following caption story is once again a slightly changed version of a scene in Monty Python's "Holy Grail". If you like Monty Python, you should like this, too.
FATHER: One day, lad, all this will be yours ...
PRINCE: What - the curtains?
FATHER: No! Not the curtains, lad ... All that ...
(indicates the vista from the window)
FATHER: ... all that you can see, stretched out over the hills and valleys ... as far as the eye can see and beyond ... that'll be your kingdom, lad.
PRINCE: But, Mother ...
FATHER: Father, lad.
PRINCE: But, Father, I don't really want any of that.
FATHER: Listen, lad, I built this kingdom up from nothing. All I had when I started was swamp ... other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same ... just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So I built a another one ... that sank into the swamp. I built another one ... That fell over and THEN sank into the swamp .... So I built another ... and that stayed up. ... And that's what your gonna get, lad: the most powerful kingdom in this island.
PRINCE: But I don't want any of that, I'd rather ...
FATHER: Rather what?
PRINCE: I'd rather ... just ... sing ...
MUSIC INTRO
FATHER: You're not going to do a song while I'm here!
Music stops.
FATHER: Listen, lad, in twenty minutes you're going to be married to a girl whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain.
PRINCE: I don't want land.
FATHER: Listen, Alice ...
PRINCE: Herbert.
FATHER: Herbert ... We built this castle on a bloody swamp, we need all the land we can get.
PRINCE: But I don't like her.
FATHER: Don't like her? What's wrong with her? She's beautiful ... she's rich ... she's got huge ... tracts of land ...
PRINCE: I know ... but ... I want the girl that I marry to have ... a certain ... special ... something ...
MUSIC INTO FOR song.
FATHER: Cut that out!