Home of the Lord of the Rings Caption Page (est. July 2002)
How come I get the small sword?by anonymous Merry: No really....what is it? by Cory Sword for your hobbit friend $100
Billy: Look at the ball fly!
Dom: No, no, let me try.
Elijah: Try pressing this button right here, see?
Dom: I'll check the users manual..
Billy: Eh, guys, we're watching a knicks game here, remember?
Journalist: Let us examine the many and varied guises of Legolas, Elven Archer of Mirkwood.
Here Legolas sports his "haughty" look
Here is "Scared but Confident"
We found that this look doubled for "Distraught" and "Stupid Dwarf"
After a few too many sips of Miruvor
The "I wish the human would bathe" look
The "personal ad" look - "Hello, I'm legolas and I like long walks through the trees"
And the infamous smirk of the elves!
The "no really, it's good" face
A bit of vertigo?
And seasickness perhaps?
Legolas: Oh Eru, is the shore supposed to be swirling like that?
Playing with one of the cave troll's rubix cubes.
The "Where's the pointy-end?" look
The "Oh no, i forgot my arrows" look
the psychotic I'm-gonna-kill-you-faces
Frodo and Sam practice the "no really, it's good" face.
"Is this how it's supposed to look?"
OH! There's the pointy end!
The showtunes look.
The "bring it on" look.
The "I can do that better" look.
The "Isn't that cute" look.
The "Oh shoot, fangirls!" look.
The "I forgot the silly Humans and Hobbits can't walk on snow like I can" look
And the sympathetic look.
And another "where's the pointy thing" look.
And, of course, the "Oh God I left my wallet in Rivendell" expression
The "still the prettiest" look
Frodo: OK guys, can you take the picture soon...cause this wig is really
itching me... any day now...
Aragorn: Let's hunt some orc.
Gandalf: I am wise. Very wise.
Galadriel: Who do you think you are? I'm older AND wiser. So there. (this from her anger at always being stuck in the corner.)
Legolas: Maybe if I look fierce enough, they won't notice I forgot my arrow. (sound familiar?)
Boromir: Like, help...
Arwen: (to makeup people) You idiots, the cut is supposed to go on the other cheek!
Pippin: What's that?
Sam: That, my friend, is, er, um...
Nazgul #9: Look mom! I told you I'd get a good role! No, back here... in the back...
The Fellowship of the Loonies: in theaters December 19.
The ballad of brave sir Aragorn
Starring, Legolas as the lead singer...
...and The Hobbits as choire boys:
Bravely bold Sir Aragorn rode forth from Bree.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Aragorn.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Aragorn!
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken,
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Aragorn!
His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off
And his penó
Brave Sir Aragorn ran away,
Bravely ran away, away.
When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes, brave Sir Aragorn turned about
And gallantly, he chickened out. Bravely taking to his feet,
He beat a very brave retreat,
Bravest of the brave, Sir Aragorn.
He is packing it in and packing it up
And sneaking away and buggering up
And chickening out and pissing off home,
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge.